Pairings: Vincent/Cloud
Warnings: SPOILERS! For the movie FFVII: Advent Children (the English-dubbed version). If you have not seen it, you might not want to read any further. Other than that, none.
Summary: This takes place during Cloud and Vincent's conversation in the ghostly forest surrounding the Forgotten City, after Cloud's failed attempt to rescue the children from Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo. It is an ambiguous take on Vincent's POV.
Completed: Yes.
He sounded angry as he asked the question. But I did not take offense. I knew his anger was not directed at me, but rather at himself. At his weakness. And at the Geostigma that was causing it.
He had not thanked me for saving him. No thanks were needed. True, Kadaj and his gang would have most likely killed him, had I not interfered. But that is what we do, those of us who have formed a strange alliance, friendship, during the never-ending battles that have marked the last years of our planet. Tifa, Barret, Cid, Yuffi, Red, Reeve, myself and...
Cloud.
Kadaj called him "brother". It is not the truth. Yet it is not completely false, either. We are part of Jenova's legacy. But Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo are remnants of the Sephiroth-branch of our dark family. While Cloud and I...Well, we are something else. Experiments. Failed ShinRa experiments. So if Cloud is anyone's brother, then he is mine.
Mine.
He sat on the ground, beneath the ghostly canopy of the forest surrounding the Forgotten City, waiting. And so, I began to tell him what I know. Though not all of it. I did not delve in my shame, my sin. They are a private hell. Yet every word I uttered was accompanied by parallel memories. Unspoken transparencies, overlaying the information I was imparting. Still, I did not let my pain show. I never let my pain show. I just spoke, in my usual dispassionate tone. Dispassionate. I cannot speak otherwise, be otherwise, for if unleashed, my emotions are chaos. I am chaos. And so I strive ever for control. To be the calm in the midst of the raging storm. To be Vincent Valentine, pillar of stoicism. And in truth, it is what they all need me to be. What he needs me to be.
Cloud.
But there was one moment, when I grabbed his arm and felt the damage that the Geostigma is causing him. Felt it through the long sleeve that he was wearing to cover it up. One moment, when I was sure my eyes would betray me. My crimson eyes. He flinched, but did not pull away, and our gazes locked. His eyes are blue. The same brilliant blue that colors the Lifestream. And like it, he is life. My life.
Mine.
The disease is decaying him. Slowly. Inexorably. I released his arm and went to stand by one of the pale, leafless trees. I needed to put some distance between us, because the thought of losing him...
Oh, I know that he will die. I have always known. And I had prepared myself for the day I would see him fall in battle. But I did not prepare myself for the possibility of watching him fall to the linguering death that is Geostigma. And I could not let him see my fear. My grief. My love.
Cloud.
It was from there that I finished giving him my pieces of the puzzle. The connection between Jenova, Sephiroth, Kadaj and him. He took it as expected. Said he wanted more answers, needed more answers, and that he would go find them with Rufus Shinra. Like a child he seemed to me then. A child who has been horribly mistreated by a monstrous parent but who, nevertheless, seeks to go running back in search of...what? Shinra would give him nothing but a self-serving spin on the situation. Cloud does not belong to him or to that place, anymore.
Mine.
But that was not the only reason he sought to leave. The other reason, the underlying reason, became apparent when the child, Marlene, found us. She wanted him to take her back to Tifa. He asked me to do so, instead. I knew why. He didn't want to face Tifa and tell her that he'd failed to rescue the children. Tifa, who like me, loves him. Tifa, who like me, will only ever have but one piece of his heart, because most of it belongs to the memory of a dead woman. I understand. I know what the memory of a dead woman can do.
Cloud.
I told him I would not be the one to take Marlene back. And in doing so, I forced him to face his fear. It is what mentors are supposed to do. And after a brief inner struggle, he understood that it was what he should do. I watched him take Marlene by the hand. Then I watched them walk away.
Right before they left, he asked me if sins can ever be forgiven. I told him I had never tried. But that is not true. I fight beside them, beside him, because I do want forgiveness. I want redemption. I want love. Yes, I want these things. Like Cloud, I want them to be...
Mine.
